Oh London. I do love you. No really. We have our ups and downs, but sometimes, when you decide to be the London everyone imagines you to be, rather than the grumpy, refusing to work, sulky, moody spoilt child of a city you can be sometimes; when you decide to sparkle with glamour and splendour, you truly are worth living in. Really.
On Sunday, KM texted me. ‘I’ve got tickets to the premier of Snow White and the Huntsman tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?’ Film premieres, when you’re not invited, are really inconvenient. They clog up Leicester Square, send you walking miles round blocks of buildings out of your way to take a detour to avoid the crowds, they’re noisy and showy, and make you wonder why on earth people hang out for them.
When you’re invited, they’re fabulous. You have a ticket to wave at a steward that symbolises special access, you get to stand on the privileged side of the barriers, the side where all the famous and beautiful get to stand and be photographed. For this premier, instead of having red carpet, a whole section of Leicester Square in front of two cinemas had been transformed into a woodland landscape – astroturf, blossoming trees, flowers – and the highly coutured stars of the film itself gracing it all.
KM and I hovered for as long as we could to stand as near to Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart and the main male leads (who I’d never heard of, but who the crowd was going mad for) as we possibly could, for as long as we possibly could.
Celebrity is a funny thing. I had no idea who the ponytailed blonde guy was until I got inside and saw that he was Chris Hemsworth, the Huntsman of the film’s title. But I did get very excited when I saw Ollie, Cheska, Mark Francis and Victoria from Made in Chelsea… I guess I get out a bit too much and when I don’t, I watch bad TV. They were far and away the highlights of all the famous people I saw, purely because I watch them every week.
Inside the cinema at a film premiere is not that exciting. The theatre still goes dark, people still forget to turn off their phones, you still get nudged by the annoying person sitting next to you. In the cinema, the film has to stand on its own merits.
This one wasn’t as kitsch as I expected it to be. Perhaps this is because it was actually quite violent, which added to the drama. I suppose you forget that most fairy tales have quite a sadistic twist to them. If anything, my only issue with the film was Kristen Stewart.
First, she is clearly NOT the fairest of them all when compared to Charlize Theron. Even Charlize Theron with wrinkles.
Second, for someone who was supposed to play a character who was the embodiment of life itself, I wished she weren’t so emo and would let herself smile. Just a bit. Or maybe smiling ruins the porcelain-like purity of her face…
Third, Kristen Stewart as Snow White riding a white horse through a grey landscape to escape was the cheesiest moment of the film, but aside from that it wasn’t all that bad. You could happily watch it on DVD on a Saturday night snuggled up on the sofa with too much chocolate and enjoy it for the riproaring tale it is.
Ultimately, chocolate is what makes film premiers so glorious. You get given free snacks on your seat – for this film a bar of Galaxy. But not everyone eats their chocolate. So when the lights came up, KM and I, in typical northern fashion, did a sweep of the rows to claim the leftover chocolate. We pulled quite a stash between us.
Needless to say, the diet begins tomorrow…