Resolve (or the lack thereof)

I never make New Year’s resolutions. Anecdote and experience both make it clear that they’re impossible to keep. They also tend to be impossible or unachievable goals.

I don’t need to make resolutions because the past few years my general aims have always been the same:

1. Lose half a stone
2. Pay off my debts
3. Meet the love of my life
4. Bag the job of my dreams
5. Travel

I don’t need to state them overtly – these are the desires that pester my psyche all the time, especially when I’m thinking about my flab rolls as I eat a chocolate biscuit, or am counting down the days til I get paid, or am on the 155 bus to Elephant and Castle instead of travelling business class to an exotic location.

Because they’re too big or too vague, I lack the resolve to bring them about (although as PJ pointed out only too rightly number 3 is hard to ‘achieve’, quoting me back at me. Thanks for that).

If there’s a resolution to be made, it’s to be more resolute. This lack of resolve, I have resolved, has to stop.

Number 1 should be broken down into eating more healthily, living a less sedentary life, committing to doing yoga, and ceasing and desisting from obsessing about what I eat and enjoying my body for what it is. All typed with leftover German Christmas cake in hand. Ah well. I’ll start tomorrow.

Number 2 means making myself actually sit down and do some maths (groans, holds head, takes deep breath and gets out the calculator), set up some direct debits and take myself firmly in hand. I think it might also be an excuse to get out the sewing machine and make some things. See, there’s always two sides to that austerity coin.

Numbers 3 and 4 I’ll need to think some more about. Even without the structure of a challenge, I plan to keep up the dating. Working out what the job of my dreams is might be a good start to number 4.

And as for number 5. Well I always make that happen somehow. Good to know I’m not lacking in resolve entirely.


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