The trade-off

So in the wake of official date number five, I think I might be having a crisis of feminist conscience. Someone said to me recently that their mother had given them a rule of thumb for dates: You look pretty, they pay the bill.

I thought this sounded quite good advice, and being fed lovely food by someone who wants to treat you is fair recompense, I think, for the time spent prepping yourself, picking (or purchasing) an outfit, and generally making sure you are both pretty and charming company for the evening. It’s a fair trade-off, right?

But I wonder if this can backfire? What if, for example, the guy decides to take you somewhere exceptionally nice and really go all out to treat you? What if you couldn’t afford to split the bill even if you wanted? And what if, at the end of all that, you’ve had a lovely time, but you’d probably be happy to end the night with a kiss on the cheek at most? If they’ve spent a lot of money on you, do you somehow owe them a greater return on their investment?

I know the feminist answer is ‘of course not’ but is that impolite? Any thoughts?


2 responses to “The trade-off

  1. Don’t over-analyse! Just enjoy the moment! If a date ends with a peck on the cheek – so be it! It is not a case of checks and balances! (Unless its their cheque and bank balance…)
    If they want a ‘return’ on their ‘investment’ they’re probably not worth pursuing anyway!!!!

  2. It’s not just that the feminist answer is of course not, the answer is of course not full stop. To somehow feel pressured into something more than you are ready or happy for is not good in any circumstance. If someone wants to make a fuss of you then that’s great of course, but that’s as far as it goes, no one should ‘expect’ anything!

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