Last night I met KM at the lovely Caravan in Exmouth Market to update her on the 666 challenge, and to clarify some of the principles underlying the nature of the challenge.
One of my work colleagues, for example, had asked if you met the love of your life on date one, and failed to complete any further dates, whether that would mean success in terms of the challenge or failure. CC had immediately responded to this question that it would be a fail, because the challenge is clear – six dates in six months each with different men. ‘She has to date six men. She cannot fall in love with the first one. She can try but it won’t happen. Seriously, what are the odds? So, yes. She definitely has to find 5 other men otherwise it is 1 in 6 and that is not the game.’
KM, however, views the challenge slightly differently, and since she’s the one who set it, I guess she has the ultimate say. As far as she is concerned this is not a game and it isn’t about proving it’s possible to get dates without using a dating website (my point). It’s a quest to find love. (And she reckons she’s not a romantic!) So if you find love on date one, the challenge has been a success.
This changes a few things. For starters, it raises the stakes and it makes the challenge less of a box-ticking exercise. I am not allowed to accumulate dates for the sake of it. ‘There has to be a potential future with these men,’ she said. ‘Where ‘future’ means at least six more dates.’
Good grief. So while I don’t have to ACTUALLY go on six dates in total with all of these men (when would I ever get anything else done), there has to be the potential for it. This doesn’t mean I can’t go on dates with guys where they’d only be good for one night only. It just means they won’t count towards the six.
Likewise, she was very strict on how well I know or don’t know them – I can’t have met them before, except to have set up the date with them in the first place. So people I vaguely know don’t count either. ‘People dating online don’t know who they’re meeting, so you can’t know either. They can’t be your friends.’ Which to be honest is a good thing, because dating friends when there’s no potential for it to turn into anything is a recipe for disaster.
And the change in emphasis from just going on six dates, to trying to find love, means that my dates have to be reasonably eligible. All of a sudden this is feeling slightly less straightforward. Obviously it would be nice to go one all six dates with super nice guys. But if it got to December, I’d have no scruples about dating some shockers to make up the numbers if needed. That option has been ruled out. It’s love or bust.