Dressing to switch from day to night is not easy, especially on a week night. But I think I rocked it – red top, skinny jeans and red shoes that I carried in my bag and switched to on the bus (after the one-handed make up application). Amazing what a pair of heels and some eyeliner can do.
He was very handsome, charming, kind, polite and engaging. The perfect gentlemen and the perfect date. I, on the other hand, am not entirely sure how I came across.
I have a bad habit of getting onto soapboxes. On my date with the pizzaface guy, he happened to mention that he’d been to a strip club on a stag weekend. I spent the next half an hour telling him about people trafficking and the abuses that happen to vulnerable women. I told him about my old flatmate B and how passionately she feels about the trafficking of women from Moldova (you can read about this on her blog).
All very valid, but NOT first date territory. That poor guy, when he left me at the end of that particular night said: ‘Thanks for discussing politics and religion with me.’ In other words, thanks for killing what should have been a romantic and pleasant evening with militant feminism.
Eek. So I was determined to avoid making the same mistake again this time.
BUT you can’t hide who you are, and although I successfully avoided politics and religion this time (on a learning curve) I couldn’t help but be ridiculously honest.
So, he likes sport – golf, tennis, martial arts. He asked me what sports I like. Instead of just answering the question – I do a bit of yoga and walk, but don’t play any sports – I said: ‘I can’t run, throw or catch, but I’m hypercompetitive, which is a bad sporting combination, so I avoid games.’
Just a little bit too honest. And I was also stuck in this conversation about one of my most unflattering qualities.
When I was a teenager, doing French oral exams, I remember my teachers at both high school and college urging us to steer the conversation towards a subject we knew the vocab for. But I always managed to talk myself into a foreign language dead end (cul de sac?) on a subject I was interested in, but didn’t have the vocabulary to continue or to get myself out of.
This was like that.
No matter how I tried to turn the conversation away, it kept coming back to how competitive I am, what that looks like, whether I’m a sore loser or not…
And over and over again, I kept falling into the trap of being honest. In spite of this, my date didn’t seem massively phased (phew) and I think we both had a very pleasant evening. Clearly dating is an art form I need to practice in order to perfect.
– don’t talk about politics or religion
– don’t highlight your flaws
– honesty has its place, but it’s not always the best policy
– do wear exciting red shoes