The anti-dating profile

Online dating, like all dating, is all about how you sell yourself, although I suspect it’s a little more contrived. A written description doesn’t really do anyone justice. I’ve written two completely truthful accounts of me to demonstrate the point.

Of course, if you met me in real life, you’d realise I’m an endearing mix of the two. Compare and contrast…

Can you love this woman?

This picture is categorically the worst I have ever looked. I ate something at a party and the next day my whole face swelled up like I had elephantiasis. And to make it worse I had a very sore giant spot on my lip.

I have been told that I snore. Not a gentle murmur of contented slumber but a bone rattling snort that could wake the dead.

I like to believe I know a lot more than I do, and when called on it will argue the point rather than admit I have no clue.

I am so stubborn I once threw Christmas dinner on the floor. Granted I was only two years old but some things don’t change. I am always right, even when I’m wrong, and am terribly unforgiving if you try to tell me I’m wrong.

I get annoyed if I don’t get alone time, and annoyed if you don’t do things my way. I’m in semi-denial about the fact that I have an emotional side.

I know far too much about Star Trek than is reasonable.

Can you love this woman?

This picture is one of the best ones I have of me. I was a bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding, and felt very lovely all day. I think you can tell.

I can sleep anywhere – noise, daylight, thunderstorms and riots won’t wake me once I’m asleep. I like to think this is because I’m a very contented person.

I know loads of random facts about odd things, which could make me useful (or entirely not) at pub quizzes. How to say ‘I’m depressed’ in Norwegian, for example.

I’m fairly opinionated and have fairly strong political views but always interested in hearing other people’s thoughts and viewpoints.

I’m super low maintenance on an emotional level, and just want to have fun with someone who loves laughing.

I know far too much about Star Trek than is reasonable.

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8 responses to “The anti-dating profile

    • Thanks Laura. Totally envious of your life right now! Keep up the blogging – it makes me smile.

  1. I could easily add to both your lists! But here’s a few more for your positives:-
    Though you’re in semi denial about your emotional side, you’re really quite tender hearted.
    You like to bake cake for people.
    You’re not materialistic.
    You have a keen sense of honour and integrity.
    You can sing, play piano and guitar, draw, paint……
    and loads more …..

    I won’t mention the negatives 😉

    • Like when I cry I cry for no reason, I have potato knees from all the cake I eat, I’ve got no money…

      But you’re right, I do believe honesty is the best policy!

  2. You’re one of the most creative, talented – and let’s not forget – wittiest person I know. This blog is ‘case and point’.

  3. You can never know too much about Star Trek than is reasonable…otherwise how else are you going to dazzle in a room full of blokes?

    • this is hilarious and also mum and dad’s responses are very true of their personalities….why is it that we have potato knees????…it’s not fair…

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