Six in six with six

Last night KM was asking me why oh why I don’t date online. According to her it gives me control to choose who I meet to date (no blind dates because you can check out who they are and what they’re about beforehand), and it creates a forum to meet interesting people who you wouldn’t meet otherwise.

Clearly I’m not opposed to the internet as a tool – you can’t blog, tweet, use LinkedIn and facebook, and be anti-web. I just dislike dating sites.


Here, briefly, is why:


I am not a commodity to be browsed or purchased like a book on Amazon

I am not a product to be auctioned off and sold to the best bidder like some tat sold on eBay

I don’t wish to select people to date based purely on the surface ten per cent that a picture and 300 words can tell you. There’s more than interests in common and looks that initiate attraction – pheremones, the mood, the timing, the sound of someone’s voice, the way they look at you, their persistence and charm – that can’t be done justice on an electronic screen.


I feel if I walk into a room of 200 people, I can choose to make myself one of the ten stand out people there, but on a listings page of thousands, I struggle to see how I can make myself remarkable.


And this is the crux of it, because I have to believe I’m remarkable or there’s no reason why anyone else will.


She laid down a kind of gauntlet, and being competitive, I shook on it to rise to the challenge:


Six dates with six men I’ve never met before in the next six months.


She believes that this will be impossible to achieve without using the tools of an online dating site. I believe that people were able to date and meet one another BEFORE dating websites existed, and that it must therefore still be possible.


CC pointed out that I have other online resources at my side – all of you dear readers, for a start, facebook friends, twitter followers, and the amazing stalking powers of Google…


So I’m putting it out there for suggestions – what should I do, where should I start, and do you agree that it’s possible or do you think I’m shooting myself in the foot?


9 responses to “Six in six with six

  1. ‘I have to believe I’m remarkable’ – amen to that. Though I would argue many see that already, even if you don’t!
    Remember when I did online dating? I freaked out and never ended up meeting the guy or chatting to anyone else on there, but even though it didn’t lead to a romance (well – it did – but not from online dating itself) it totally changed me. For the first time I was putting myself out there, believing I was remarkable and desirable. It changed the way I came across to people. And everything changed for me after that…
    So, knowing you – I say go for it. It may not introduce you to Mr Right but it sure will introduce you to another side of yourself.
    That was my experience anyway… and I was TOTALLY anti onine dating (and terrified of it)……..

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  3. Yes, it absolutely can be done. I actually read, many years ago, ‘How to Find a Date Worth Keeping’ by Dr. Henry Cloud. He challenges (requires) you to meet 5 men EACH WEEK. There are certain guidelines & of course the first few weeks were rocky with only 1 – 2 men, but after that it really opened my eyes to how there are many opportunities – including online dating. 🙂 We just get tunnel vision sometimes.

    • Good grief! Did that actually work for you? And how indiscriminate were you? Is the idea to date literally any straight man who’s breathing? And do you know any you could send my way?? Lovely to get your comments!

      • haha! Yes it did actually work! I was young at the time though & realized that I wasn’t ready to ‘settle down’ – I had some growing up to do – still do in fact. It was really good advice he gave – you should check it out!

        any way, yes, I met them at the grocery store, the airplane, friends parties. I reread your post to verify – you were just challenged for six dates – not marriage right? they’re dates. dinner, movies, hot air balloon rides, sushi, dancing, concerts…live it up! i hope these next six months are absolutely fabulous for you. oh and yes, actually, i do have a gentleman heading to europe in a few weeks…he can be one of your six! I’ll talk with him this weekend & see if we can’t make that happen!

  4. So sorry for this incredibly late reply…in the midst of selling my house…my idea of fun is a bit misconstrued I realize. Ok, so said gentleman friend above has changed his plans on going to Europe this fall. However, I have high hopes for you yet. Please keep us posted on your progression!

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