The lovely CC and I took advantage of the long summer days to meet early and catch up at the new Nude Espresso in Soho Square. She’s a wise woman that CC. Analysing all the relationships and boys we know over a latte, she rightly said ‘If you’re not sure about a guy, you need to kiss him. Twice. You’ll know on the second kiss.’
Romantics claim that it’s the first kiss that’s the pivotal moment, but CC is right, the first kiss is often awkward or unpleasant. It’s the second kiss where, if there’s going to be any, the magic is to be found.
I have a classic example: I was 23 when I got asked on my first ‘proper’ date – as in ‘I want to meet you at a certain time and place and spend an evening exclusively in your company’, a date according the my carefully compiled criteria, a date with a proper grown up man.
I was excited. I put thought into what I was going to wear and I fixed my hair. I perked up my face with make up. And I decided I was going to be on great form.
B and I had a great night, lots of easy chat and laughter, and as it got nearer to last orders I knew the date was going to end well. Or so I thought. B walked me home, but first we stopped off at KFC so he could buy himself a Chicken Zinger Twister. We talked and talked and talked, and my sense of anticipation rose higher and higher. We got back to my house, he called a taxi to take him home, and when it arrived he kissed me.
By this point the sense of expectancy had left me frantic, so this kiss was always going to have a lot to live up to. First kisses are often disappointing, but this one really wasn’t worth the hype – in fact it almost made me gag as the Chicken Zinger Twister came back to haunt me…
After that kiss, I was confident there would be no more. He and I would be nothing more than good friends. But when he called again a couple of days later, I felt a bit sorry for him because he was so keen. And so I invited him over for a cup of tea and we ended up having a second kiss, and… well, it didn’t end happily ever after, but this time it was more of a zinger for the right reasons.
Romance is all very well in stories, but it’s not always the best rule of thumb to follow in real life. Ladies, if you’re wanting to see if there’s chemistry to be found, patience is a virtue. Give the poor guy another chance, because you’ll find the electricity, not in the first kiss, but in the second.