I was at the most brilliant wedding this weekend, with a glorious service in Hammersmith and then the do afterwards at Fulham Palace.
We were hosted excellently and the champagne and conversation was flowing.
I was very excited because I had made myself a net underskirt to give my dress a fifties kick. I was wearing the most ridiculous pair of heels and a white fake fur bolero jacket, and I felt quite classy.
Unfortunately for me, the costume isn’t always enough to pull off the effect of being genteel. Over dinner we enjoyed plenty of interesting conversation with the people around us. The guest sitting next to me explained that he had been born in Thailand and sent to boarding school in the Philippines.
‘Really?’ I said in surprise. ‘I would never have guessed because you’re not socially awkward at all.’
He looked at me with slight incredulity, and so I felt I had to dig myself out of the hole I’d created.
‘Um, I mean, normally guys who’ve been to all boys boarding schools are hopeless in conversations with women.’ Of course, I have no idea whether or not this particular sweeping statement is actually true or not, which made it all the worse.
‘Oh well I went to a mixed boarding school,’ he responded.
‘That’ll be why then,’ I said, feeling relieved to have got myself out of trouble.
Only one of the guests sitting a little further down had been listening in too, and then piped up, ‘I went to an all boys boarding school, and I’m not socially awkward.’
How spectacularly embarrassing. Which goes to show, never make assumptions, and if you do, keep them to yourself.
Oh and also a posh dress does not a lady make. Evidently.