‘One night I was drinking in a bar and flirting with the bartender. I asked for her number. She said “I don’t give out my phone number because guys rarely call when they say they’re going to. My name is Lindsey Adams, and if you want to call me, find my phone number.’ Which I did – the very next day. Do you know how many Lindsey Adamses there are in the phone book of a major city? Let’s just say I talked to about eight or nine before I found mine.’
He’s Just Not That Into You, Chapter One
So I’ve been thinking…
If I met someone I liked and searched for him on the Internet to find out more about him am I like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction?
Or am I being a romantic like John Cusak in Serendipity?
According to He’s Just Not That Into You, if a guy likes you but doesn’t have your number, he’ll find a way to get in touch with you.
Notionally it sounds romantic – the idea that a man will go to any lengths to love you. This stuff is the subject matter of hundreds of soppy chick flicks – the woman so consumes the mind of the man she drives him crazy, he pursues and eventually she gives in and they all live happily ever after.
But what happens if you reverse the roles? Then it’s not a chick flick but a horror movie. If a woman decides she can’t live without a particular man and tracks him down, she is a potential psychopath.
More than ever we have the tools to find people – Google and facebook being the main ones – and I reckon that lots of people routinely check out the people they meet in real life online to try and find out more about them. (I’ve written about the dangers of this before.)
Is this romantic or just scary? And does it matter whether it’s a man or a woman doing the research as to what you decide? I suppose what I’m trying to work out is – are we playing by one set of rules, or two?