Apparently you can take the girl out of the north, but you can’t take the north out of the girl. For example, if I overhear that someone is lost, and I think I might be able to help, I’ll ask if they want my help, rather than sitting silently, and smugly, thinking ‘Aha! I know the answer but I’m not telling.’
CC is the same. So on Saturday night, when we were out for CJ’s birthday drinks and CC found a girl in the toilets looking slightly distraught, she asked her if she could help.
‘I’m on the worst date of my life ever,’ she said.
‘Right,’ said CC. ‘This is what we are going to do. You are going to go back out there and a couple of minutes later, I will come out, look surprised and say ‘Hi! What are you doing here?’ We will pretend we are cousins, you will come upstairs meet my friends, get rid of your date and then join us for the rest of the evening.’
So that is what they did, this poor girl coming up the stairs to join us, with her poor internet date trailing behind her, with his coat and scarf still on and his iphone out… Clearly he hadn’t thought the date was going very well either. CC introduced them both to us all, then the girl took her date downstairs and got rid of him, before returning and buying us all a round of drinks out of gratitude.
A few minutes later, once she had calmed down, she asked us if there were any single men at this party. So we introduced her to the three blokes sitting on the bench opposite us, and made a joke that it was a bit like Blind Date.
‘Oo, let’s do Blind Date,’ she said, and started asking them questions – ‘If you were a kitchen utensil, what would you be and why?’ She went the whole way and asked them each three questions, before settling on number one, a guy who CJ knows from climbing.
When we left, they both looked delighted to have discovered each other, the rescued girl resting her hand on climbing boy’s bottom as they stood in the pub doorway. ‘Thank you so much,’ she whispered to us theatrically ‘You rescued me from a bad date and you’ve also set me up with Number One!’
We just hoped she would eventually remember his name and save herself some later embarassment…