Thirty (part two)

Dear PastMe, Hello you!

It was such a surprise to hear from you – long time, no see!

Grey hair! You have absolutely no idea. In six years time you’ll realise that pulling out the odd stray grey is now no longer an option and you will have to resort to dying your hair. So annoyingly high maintenance. And you’ll fully recognise that although you’ve got great intentions of not ever dying your hair because it was going grey now and plans to age gracefully in six years time you’ll think 30 is too young to start aging, and you’ll crack the dye open with glee. So it seems that within the space of six years your strongly held principles and ideals can be totally dropped and the opposite be embraced wholeheartedly. Things change and it’s important to remain flexible!

It’s weird to remember how you feel (and I felt) about Simon’s doom about turning 30 – you think he’s so old and sad. I think you write a poem about it (How funny! I can’t remember the last time I wrote a poem. You’re much better at expressing your melancholy soul than I am) – I’ll have to dig that out. I think you’re about to get well and truly heartbroken by him, but take heart – you drop two full dress sizes and when you get to being me, you feel pretty great about life. Not old and sad at all. And you go out dancing the Saturday before your 30th birthday in a tiny pair of red shorts. There’s no way you’re even dreaming about that now, aged 24 are you?

I hate to break it to you but you’ll not be married and you definitely won’t have any children. And you won’t really mind all that much (especially on the children front!). That’s because you will be pursuing the beginnings of an interesting career, like you hope. It’s funny you say the beginnings because you’ll feel slightly behind everyone else and desperate to catch up. And it’s strange to realise you were thinking about this when you were 24 – it takes you until you’re 26 to do anything about it.

And you’ll definitely not be living in Fleetwood anymore! Don’t worry about that, you’ll make good your escape. As will the rest of your family. If you could imagine the life you’d want for yourself when you’re 30, I hope that it looks something like the kind of life I have. It’s pretty exciting and you really land on your feet, largely through sheer luck. You’re ridiculously fortunate.

I remember the ‘Things to do before you’re 30’ list but for the life of me I can’t find it. I looked in the box you filled that afternoon when you created a sock drawer for yourself (wow, your life really was awesome when you lived in Fleetwood!) but it’s got so many things in there now that it was too easy to get distracted by the memorabilia of your past and I didn’t have the energy to empty the whole thing out to find the list. And ignorance is bliss, because I suspected I hadn’t done any more of the things on the list. I’m glad you remember more of the list that I currently do – it’s heartening to read that I had managed to fulfil some of my dreams!

I am feeling happy today and with what’s about to happen to you, you should consider that miraculous. You won’t feel very appreciated at points and you’ll have moments in the next few years of being fairly devastated. But you’ll survive. You’ll more than survive, in fact. And you’ll gain greater and more meaningful friendships as a result. So hold on. I do feel very grateful for the love and friendship I have – I don’t think you even realise how much more loved you’ll feel in six years time.

24 is nothing. 30 is where it’s at baby!

Lots of love
Your older and wiser, but still as youthful in spirit, self

PS Thanks for the random link…


2 responses to “Thirty (part two)

  1. Oh. My. Word. A beautiful post which really should be published- if I had any contacts I would pursue it… I mean it! SO beautifully written. And what a great journey… to be 30 and having LIVED those 6 years fully with risk and joy and sorrow…. I think your 24 year old self would be proud 🙂

  2. Pingback: Kulu Kulu or An example of when it’s clearly a date « Me and the Girl from Clapham·

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